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What not to do...
I've spent long enough looking for a
literary agent to have picked up one or two tips on what not to do. Some
of these mistakes I've made myself, some I haven't. I'm not about to own up to
which is which, but save yourself some time and some humble pie and don't make
them yourself:
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Don't spam agents. You hate
getting spam, right? Agents are no different. Just like we all hate people
who don't know us from Adam sending us emails trying to sell us this and
that, agents hate getting emails from writers that have been sent out to
them and every other agent in one bulk email trying to sell them your book.
Make an agent a name in a list and you're treating them cursorily – they'll
treat you the same. Send out a pre-fabricated letter / email and you'll get
a prefabricated rejection back.
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On an extension of the previous
point, don't send irrelevant material (i.e. stuff they don't handle) on the
off-chance. You may think you've got nothing to lose, but if you annoy an
agent they will remember you, and when the day comes that you have
written something they might be interested in they won't want to know you.
There are only a limited number of agents out there, remember. Bridge
arsonists do not fare well.
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Don't waste your time with these
"wizards" you can get which make a proposal letter for you to a
pre-fabricated template, and automatically choose which agents to send it
to. Agents get hundreds of letters a week and will spot these clones a mile
off. It's the single best way to make sure your letter doesn't stand
out. Does using one of these wizards say "I'm a professional writer
with an interest in your particular agency", or does it say "I'm a
desperate unpublished writer, willing to try any fad, and I've sent this to
a hundred other agents too (or at least my computer has)"?
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Don't ever try to hussle agents
by saying you've got other people interested and need a quick answer. They
have an inexhaustible supply of writers throwing themselves at them and will
snap your hand off for a chance to reject your manuscript without having to
take the time to read it.
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Don't approach agents
arrogantly. Sure you think your book's brilliant – otherwise you
wouldn't have spent however many months or years writing it, right? –
but there are a hell of a lot of brilliant writers who never make it into
print (and a hell of a lot of crappy ones that do...),
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